Last weekend, my roommate of 2 years had to unexpectedly move out. This makes me a super sad panda. I could not have asked for a better roommate, and I had a lot of fun living with him.
Asshole.
So, he moves out. There goes that rent. Shit.
THEN, I look at my mortgage payment and realize it has gone up...a lot.
Fuck.
Not much I can do about either of these things. I can't sell my house. I don't want to find another roommate. Girl Roommate and I can both be...difficult, one might say. She and I are polar opposites when it comes to cleaning, cooking, housework. Boy Roommate was perfectly in the middle (as in he was just as lazy as me, but didn't mind being yelled at to do things) and I don't know that we could find another dynamic like that.
I am formulating a new plan to save money.
No Spend Summer.
I was already KIND OF planning on doing this, just to see how it goes. I made a half-ass budget, and I really do make good money. Where does it all go, you ask?
Let's be honest here. Mostly booze and blow. Substituting pizza for the blow.
So, I'm gonna just spend less. Easy, right? SUUUUUURE.
The main points that I have worked out are
1. Keep lots of vodka in the house, and little food.
2. Gorge on food at work, because they pay for it.
3. When I feel hungry at night, take a shot of vodka and go for a walk.
4. Dandelions are food.
5. There is no shame in eating leftover coffee grounds. Tasty AND reduces waste.
It seems like a good, solid plan so far. I'll keep working on it. If anyone has any suggestions (Don't say drink less vodka. That's just crazy talk.) I'll be happy to hear them.
