Why WOULDN'T You Talk to a Complete Stranger Like This?

Conversation with a customer yesterday.  Paraphrased, because my memory is not that great. 

Judgy McJudgerson: If you knew then what you know now, would you still defile your body?

Me:  Uh...I don't think I've ever defiled my own body in my whole life.

Judgy:  You most certainly have.
            You don't know what the body is for, do you?

Me:  I guess I don't!

Judgy:  You're not a Christian...are you...

Me:  Um.  You have a good day, sir.

I wish I'd had something more clever as a response, but I'm just not comfortable discussing my religious beliefs or lack thereof with total strangers who are handing me money for services rendered.  (Trash service, perverts.)  But it was an EXCELLENT start to my Thursday evening. 

Picture time!  We'll just keep on with the inappropriacy (it's a word) trend. 

I think the woman holding this baby is missing a leg!!

Embracing My King Sized Bed

Every once in a while, I get the urge to put myself out there and let people tell me how awesome I am.  For some reason, each time I do this, online dating seems like the way to go.  Since I am poor, I go to (the free) OkCupid.  It has games and quizzes and such.  It's low pressure and full of men desperate for any sort of female contact.

The problem comes in that sometimes, you get what you pay for. 

In the 4 or 5 times I have had a profile, I have met some excellent people.  The Jew, the Yeti, the original Simon, weird narrow shoulder guy.  I have also met some super creepers.  Fairy Fort Iowa Boy for example.  He drove down to see me for one evening and then got angry because

1. I wouldn't let him move into my basement and
2. I didn't understand that the heart he drew on a piece of construction paper and left folded up on my pillow meant that we were a couple even though he had never heard of Miller Lite and thought living in my basement was a good idea. 

There was also the person who said I gave him herpes.  (For the record, I don't have herpes.)

And then there was very short small dick date rape guy.  He was a treat. 

For the most part though, it's not even THAT interesting.  It's generally just an exercise in disappointment.  Lots of looking at cute boys who have no conversation in them or boys that would make great friends, but if you reply to the email they will absolutely get the wrong idea.

And eventually comes the realization that Kansas City is just WAY too small of a town for online dating.  The odds of running into a random online email in real life is pretty high.  And then sometimes you run into them at a friend's party.  That's just awkward.

As usual, I lost interest pretty quickly with the whole process.  About a month ago I "disabled" my profile.  Which is what you do when you think you MIGHT want to start it up again sometime in the future, and don't want to go through the process of rewriting all of your awesome attributes.  Seriously.  I can only be clever so many times.  But for now, I feel satisfied with myself.  Things are good.  Actually better than they have been in a long time.

And that's it.  I had to reactivate my profile to ask someone a question and it won't let me shut it down again for a week.  Got me thinking about how disinterested I am in the whole thing.

Let's end on a picture, shall we?  Nom.