Thankfully this has passed and my little journal of narcissism has evolved to diet journal and neighbor tattler and largely disused anecdotal platform. Like a lot of people, I need struggle and strife to be truly creative. When I'm happy I just like to bask in it and be. Paint flowers and ponies (that look like misshapen cocks) and sunshine.
So what do I do with this little fella? Keeping it around reminds me that I really have nothing interesting to say. The neighbors are relatively meth-and-drama-free right now. I have 2 great dogs, an amazing job, a fantastic roommate and a boy who makes me feel feelings, and is okay with it. I quit Weight Watchers because I am perpetually broke and unmotivated. The biggest problem I have right now is that my ex has a girlfriend that he likes more than he ever liked me. Which makes my pride wince a bit.
Rough life, I know. I will always be a teenage goth girl at heart, I suppose.
Maybe I just need to bring some drama into my life so that I can create more effectively. Start a cat fight or hit a pedestrian or something. But is it worth it? I could go off my meds. That's always good for the crazy brain juices. But let's be frank here (Hi, Frank!) If orgasms aren't worth going off the meds for, not much is going to be.
No, I guess I may have to be content with life being...content. Find creativity through happiness. Continue painting happy little zombies and enjoying the company that I keep. What else is life about?
Heartbreak will come soon enough, I'm sure.
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| Who doesn't love ponies?? |
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