Bravo Stickers and the Joy of Fiber

Last week I decided to quit Weight Watchers and join Weight Watchers Online.  I'm losing about 4/10 of a pound per week which, yeah, is better than nothing, but I don't want to pay $50 a month for less than 3 lbs per month.  WW online is $18 per month, which seems more reasonable since I had quit going to meetings anyway.  I have plenty of cheerleaders, I don't need complete strangers telling me I'm rad. 

Duh.  Of course I am. 

Although the last meeting I went to was very interesting.  It was all about fiber.  Since then I have been working really hard to up my fiber intake.  Which means that I do basically nothing all day but poop.  Which is AWESOME.  I won't go into details, but I can feel my intestines shrinking from not holding on to so much goodness. 

As per usual, I have not thought this entry out very well.  But since I don't go to meetings anymore, I don't get Bravo stickers, which are WW rewards for the little accomplishments that come between the big weight loss goals.  So, I'm gonna list some of my own here.

When NG and I broke up a million years ago, I lost about 6 lbs from not eating for a month, mostly from the underboob area on my right side.  Even with all the weight I gained over the years, that little bit of fat never came back.  (Weird, right?)  I always thought it was strange because there was no fat there to grab, and the left side was grabbable.  Now, my left underboob almost matches my right underboob!  Go me!

I am on the smallest belt hole on a belt that 4 months ago I was on the largest.   (That sentence makes sense, I swear.) 

I like doing sit ups and try to do them every day, working on adding some every week, splitting them between boring and kettlebell. 

I look forward to cardio night for more than just the drunken makeouts that follow the exercise. (What?  Pshaaaw.  That never happens...)


That's probably enough for now but I'm gonna keep posting these as they happen.  Summertime is almost here and it's gonna be a good one, friends.  Lots going on and way too much fun to be had.  One month until I leave for Minnesota Birthday Extravaganza.  Then begins the Summer of Music.  I may have spent WAY too much money on concert tickets for this summer.  But goddamn, there is so much goodness coming to KC this year! 

Rambling.  Rambles.  I have to poop.

The Beast Within

I ate cheetos on Sunday for the first time since I started Weight Watchers back in December.  Ever since, I have been CRAVING THE FUCK out of junk food.  But it's been so long since I purposefully ate that stuff that I don't even know what I'm craving.  Just random things to munch.  NOMNOMNOMNOM GET IN MY BELLY!! 

Whatever you are.  I'm not good at snacking anymore. 

Which, most days, is super duper awesome.  I am "living the plan" as they say.  And by "they," I mean Weight Watchers.  I don't even track anymore.  I just eat well.  I'm exercising.  (Kettlebell, whut whut!)  Losing slowly but surely.  Making good choices. 

But this week, Post-Cheeto Week, I want...more cheetos I suppose.  I want to bathe in gravy.  I want oreo shakes. 

I think my brain is self-sabotaging because we're SO CLOSE to our 10% goal.  Never mind that it's taken damn near 4 months to get there.  Whatever.  We're close.  And my brain is rebelling.  "NOOOOOO!!!  Be fat and unhappy foreeeeeeeeveeeeer!!!!  We like you sedentary, wasting away!!!!"

Anyway.  Cheetos. 

IF ONLY!

The Impossibility of Closure

You left me at my most vulnerable.
You never bothered to worry if I was okay.
You never cared to tell me why.
Not even worthy of a real conversation.
Just a couple of drunk dances.

I hope someday you realize that is not how friends treat each other.  And you make an effort to make sure the next girl is okay.  Not just wait for her to get over it. 

(That wasn't supposed to sound like a poem.  I just don't have a lot of complete thoughts right now.  But I do have a new painting.  GO!)

The Siren Beneath the Water