Luna Beast Strike Again!

After washing my bedspread, it took her less than an hour to get her dogness back all over everything.

She should be very glad she's adorable.

Pretty sure there's another dog under her somewhere

Stupid Slow and Steady

I've been at Weight Watchers just over a month now.  I have lost 9.8 lbs.

Is is just me, or is that not a whole fucking lot?  True, I don't exercise, but goddammit.  Just because I don't drink soda and didn't have any water weight to get rid of; you'd think my body would REWARD me for that.  I can't help it that my body is over 200 lbs of SOLIDNESS.  Have you seen my ass?  It could stop a train.  Seriously.  Smack me on my ass, as hard as you can.  I dare you.  I won't even feel it. 

Really, any progress is better than none.  I weighed in last night and I am 1.2 lbs away from my first goal of 5% weight loss.  So that's frustrating.

Perhaps I should NOT eat chicken fried steak for lunch.  Even with the gravy on the side.  Or y'know, I could go for a walk.

Sure.  I could do that...

What?  It could be hot...

No I promise. This was my dream.

Last night I dreamed that I kept shitting myself over and over.  And the only toilet I had access to looked like an Infinity pool and when I flushed it shot water all over my hotel room. 

In my extensive research to figure this steamer (heh) out, I ran across this interpretation:

Bowel Movement

To dream that you have a bowel movement signifies that you are successfully getting rid of your old habits/ways and thinking patterns. It is usually analogous to the release of strong emotions, such as anger or hatred.

To dream that you have a bowel movement in a public place suggests that you are expressing regret about something that you said. You may have spoken your mind a little too loudly.

I can't say for sure, but I think they're full of shit. 

Boom.

Animal Torture

Everyone said you can't put a sweater on a giant dog. I set out to prove them wrong.

Also...drunk.

My Brain Visits the Past

I have recurring dreams.  They are never the same dream over and over, but a theme.  They always used to involve my first husband, and me trying to get back together with him.  In the dreams I was living at my mom's house.  Except the one where we went on an adventure and got chased by a shark in a swimming pool. 

The last few weeks, I've been dreaming about high school.  This is a recurring theme for me as well, but not very often.  Last night I had two.

In the first one, it was graduation time!  Everyone was so excited.  The ex-bff and I decided to infiltrate the rival high school to see how they were doing with their graduation rates.  We went at lunch time and to our surprise, everyone that we thought went to our high school was at the other school.  And they didn't graduate for 3 more weeks. 

We felt very superior. 

We decided to check out how their lunchroom compared to ours.  To put it mildly, it was abysmal.  They had hot dogs and...apple crisp.  SO lower middle class.  But they were giving out samples, so that was interesting.  They also had a salad bar.

Really, Rival High School?  A salad bar?  In 1997?

And, as dreams do, it ended there.  I woke up at 4 AM, watched some Andy Griffith and eventually fell back asleep.

High school dream #2 was not so full of me feeling superior.

Once again, it was graduation time.  I was feeling very confident in my ability to leave high school, until I realized that I had basically skipped the entire last semester.  I decided to show up to the 2nd to last day of school to gauge my standing.  I had forgotten my locker combination so I had none of my books, and the teacher who replaced my math teacher gave me a 6 foot easel to carry that I lost. 

(I love dreams.  They don't have to make any sense at all.)

I got to English class only to be ridiculed by my professor for not having my book.  Or knowing anything about what was going on.  So, after class I figured fuck it and went home.

At home, both of of my sisters were in town for Christmas!  My parents were married and we were all living in the house I grew up in.  My niece Zoe was attempting to distract me, but being the observant person that I am, I noticed that my bedroom was completely pink.  My father redecorated my room as my present.  Pink carpet, pink bed, pink matched luggage.  I was soooooo happy, I could've died.

And then Dolly shit all over everything.  Giant, steamy piles of dog shit all over my childhood dreams. 

:)

Resolve, Take 2

Friday I got home from work and wrote a quick little update about my new year's resolution.  I went out and completely obliterated my weight watchers points and basically sour pussed around Westport because waaaaah, my life isn't exactly how I thought it would be.

Saturday as I was leaving for my evening plans, I had a panic attack and spent the rest of New Year's Eve avoiding a very good friend who was trying to help me.

Sunday I hid in my bedroom all day.

2011 started with depression and insecurity and it turned into the worst year of my life.  I lost my best friend, the person I thought I was going to grow old and die with.  I lost a boyfriend who, for all his faults, made me feel more secure and loved than anyone before or since.  I gained a solid 20 lbs onto my already overweight ass.  I struggled with depression more than I have in my life.

So, 2012.  We've got some work to do.  My initial resolution was "only date boys that are nice to me."  But I think that completely misses the point.  I don't LIKE boys that are nice to me, because I don't like myself.  (Also, they are usually vanilla lamers, but that's beside the point.)  And it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, because my thoughts overrule. 

I'm gonna work on me.  I don't really know what form that will take, other than losing weight.  But I hated myself when I weighed 130 lbs.  I don't really think getting back there will solve any of my problems.  Plus, I would look like an ass on a stick.  I think things like being a better friend, caring more about my house being clean, and finding someone quality to bang will come with a better attitude and perhaps a little more self love. 

But I might settle for ass on a stick.  It wouldn't kill me to feel hot for hotness's sake.